Transparency, this is me.

When I started my blog, I thought I had to follow some sort of rules and not show the woman/wife/mom that I really am. I showed a taste of what our life looks like, but I didn’t REALLY disclose how free-spirited, crazy, overwhelmed, disorganized, stubborn, and downright “I’m losing my mind” I am.

I fought the urge to put into words what was really on my heart all last year because, gulp, there’s a lot of vulnerability in doing so. And, double gulp, what if people actually agreed? It makes me so uncomfortable to think that people might actually confirm my thoughts and feelings. Weird, right?

But, I love writing. It’s therapeutic for me to put into words the ramblings of my brain. And full disclosure, that usually includes some vulgar words. I drop the F bomb more often than I care to admit, and my middle son’s first real sentence was “You shit head.” Mama has a potty mouth. 😉 I embrace it. Hah.

2017 was the year of learning to love myself as I am. 2018 is the year of sharing how crazy dysfunctional and imperfect my techniques for mothering and wife-ing are and how my quirks and short comings are tools for showing others they aren’t alone on their journey.

So, let me introduce myself:

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My name is Dakota. I’m 25, married to my soul mate, and we have three boys ages 7, almost 4, and 2. They drive me to the brink of wondering if I’m really even sane anymore, and that includes my husband. We live in Wine Country in a town with less than 3,000 people and our home is mostly surrounded by grape vineyards. We have saints for neighbors. They haven’t yet knocked on my door wondering why they need to brush their teeth on my schedule and not their own or to tell me my kid is running around the yard naked, again.

I’m a “semi-crunchy” mom and a huge advocate of natural living, home remedies, and essential oils, but I draw the line at raising humans. If my boys have their way, we’ll have our own hobby farm one day to harvest our own eggs, meat, veggies, and fruits from, but for now we utilize our parents and local farmers. 😉 My favorite night out includes the hunk I call Ben, our favorite bar, hot wings with blue cheese dressing, and endless pints of Yuengling. With or without kids, but if kids are in tow, the beer is no longer endless. 😉

I thrive on a schedule, but rarely make one for myself. We struggle with infertility and even with 3 boys, it kills me seeing a – on monthly pregnancy tests. I’m an amateur photographer, heavy emphasis on amateur, but I rarely reach for my camera and usually snap pics with a phone. I have a yellow/blue personality and deal with anxiety on the daily. I hate working out, but recently found squats are my jam. I hate cooking real food, but love baking all the treats and cleaning in my house is totally not the same definition as cleaning in my mom’s house growing up. We added on a 1200+ square foot addition last May and I still refuse to host family gatherings in our home.

And I am learning to be okay with the fact that I have little control over the tiny tyrants that love me unconditionally and that they will grow to be the humans that they are meant to be even if that means sarcastic is a trait they always carry. Here’s to breaking the false identities wives and moms feel they need to showcase, revamping the normal that is expected within motherhood and embracing the wild that is our lives! Hollaaaaaa.

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