Oh, my aching ovaries.

My husband and I have three boys. I had a really rough pregnancy the third time around. So bad, he said no more kids, regardless of the gender. (We don’t find out! So fun!) I cried for weeks about it. After T was born, hubby backed off his no more kids stand. Now that our youngest is 15 months, he’s very much ready for another baby. But y’all, they drive me a little crazy. These boys are wild, rambunctious, crazy, strong-willed, stubborn. Did I mention wild and crazy?

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Our crazy doesn’t end there. (Shoot, I don’t even know that it’s really even begun.) My sister recently moved home from Florida. Her boyfriend and his two-year-old daughter came with her. They live with us! It’s so awesome. Every day we’re all together. And did I mention, my sister was pregnant? Yep. She recently had her first biological baby. Like 7 days ago recently.

So under one roof there are four adults and five kids. Kids ages are 6, 3, 2, 1 and 7 days! Life just got a bit more out of control. Our hands are FULL. But ya wanna know something? Our hearts are fuller.

These kids push us, me especially, to the brink of insanity every single day. I legit had to pause writing this to go save my three-year-old. Why? Because he climbed up on the dryer to get a clean diaper for his brother and somehow fell off the dryer and banged his head on the way down. That’s pretty normal around here. It’s ALWAYS something.

My niece is just two. She is 11 months younger than my middle son and 10 months older than my youngest. Those boys gang up on her like it’s their job. When they first moved in with us, this poor girl couldn’t sit in peace for two minutes. But now? Now she “pokes the dragons” as we say. If they haven’t bugged her in a minute, she’s all up in their business. Instigating a hair pull or body slam. And then she’s screaming ‘cuz well, they got her. It’s a never-ending cycle. It’s ALWAYS something.

BUT YOU GUYS. The baby my sister brought home? Yeah, a little girl. And while I’d love her just the same if she were a little boy, there’s something about having a newborn baby girl in the house. She has a beautiful head full of hair and bright blue eyes. AND TINY. Oh my gosh. She’s a whole pound and a half less than my youngest was at birth.

We bond over burping. Apparently, she won’t burp for her mama. So after most feeds, I sneak in and work my magic. And while working said magic yesterday afternoon, I realized there were RUFFLES on her butt! They make sleepers with butt ruffles!?!?!?! 17620387_10207353439548208_4512351886779031117_o

I catch myself smelling her head too often. That newborn baby smell is intoxicating. OH, MY ACHING OVARIES.

When the boys were newborns, I found myself just surviving. Barely surviving, actually. It felt like there were a million and one things that HAD to be done right in that moment and I couldn’t take the time to just enjoy them while they were little enough to not move, or talk back, or throw their food at me. With this sweet little girl, I’m finding myself taking the time to just relax and enjoy the warm snuggles.

My oldest is in love with this little girl. He comes home from school begging to hold her. He got to feed her before I ever did. He told me yesterday morning on the way to school that having a sister wouldn’t be so bad.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me want another. I’d be lying if I said the baby fever wasn’t strong right now. I think I’d be okay with having a daughter one day. I’ve spent so much time identifying as a boy mom, that I was terrified at the idea of having a girl to take care of.  WHAT IF THE BOYS DIDN’T LIKE HER!? Those worries have been put to rest…for now…I think.

Most days, I’m counting down until bedtime when I can tuck the bigs in to bed, open a beer and take a deep breath. This life is overwhelming. And crazy. And unpredictable. SO unpredictable. But I can’t wait for the opportunity to snuggle a newborn, smell their head, think ‘Holy crap! I made that!’ and grow this beautiful life I have.

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